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Psychoanalysis

Randomness, rant, thoughts, Tidbits

Do Not Psychoanalyse Me. PLEASE

One of the fastest ways to piss me off is to try and psychoanalyze me. IT TICKS ME OFF!!!!
I just don’t get how people walk around looking to tell others about how they are – valid or not.

Example:
Me: I don’t like the smell of raw chicken
Them: You know, the problem with you is that…bla bla bla..

Me: Wow. Did you just see what that guy did? Scary
Them: Did he really? You know how you are about these things….

Seriously?

Once, while getting to know a new guy, our very first whatsapp conversation read like this:
Him: I didn’t hear from you again, was wondering…
Me: I replied almost immediately, it’s probably bad network. Meanwhile, I’ve been here thinking you got my reply but decided to blow me off, perhaps you didn’t like the font of the text *an obvious joke*
Him: Interesting. I see you’re one of those people who care what people think of you meanwhile you’ll be acting all tough
Me: Lol. What? How did you make that deduction from just one sentence?
Him: *explains in three long paragraphs about how deep down I definitely care about people’s opinion of me and how I’m probably not as hardcore as I like to think I am and how I really need to stop being so hung up on other people’s opinions and do me*
Me: Okay. Thanks a lot.

Suffice to say, that’s where the conversation ended.

One time, my friend and I sat behind a couple in church whose body language was admittedly quite off. I think the woman even quarreled the guy while we watched in amusement; much to the husband’s embarrassment. My friend now goes in full analytical mode about how their marriage is probably in trouble and how she probably always embarrasses the guy in public like that and lots more. I was like come on!! Chill out Dr. Phil. We know nothing about these people, nothing! Its unfair to make such strong statements about their dynamic based on just a 10 second display. That’s how my friend and I sort of quarreled over this oo. I was irritated. lol. [Hi hun, I know you’re reading this :p]

You hear these sort of comments daily from random people -Oh, look at that lady’s haircut and body language, typical “angry black woman” [sorry Mary Jane], Oh look at that how that guy acts, he probably grew up without a father figure, Oh look, this child is so clingy, he/she probably has abandonment issues etc. So fucking tedious! Is there a high that comes with telling people about themselves? Maybe the psychoanalysis is even correct but you have to be a really special person to always walk around looking to highlight other people’s back-stories – valid or not.

Instead, let me make a suggestion as to how that the conversation should read:
Me: I don’t like the smell of raw chicken
Them: Yea, me neither/I don’t mind it at all.

Me: Wow. Did you see what that guy just did? Scary
Them: No I didn’t/Yes I did.

Simple! Every sentence I utter is not and shouldn’t be an invitation to tell me about how I am. Else, we just may have to send you off to psychology school to go get an actual license, seeing as pro-bono work has zero benefits in Nigeria.

Thanks.

NB: I currently have these on repeat. Love love love!

Why is Adam Levine so fucking hot? And I cry when the brides freak out.. so beautiful. FunFact: They actually truly just crashed random weddings in LA, none of the brides were informed prior but the grooms were told to just expect a multi-grammy award winning band.  How cool? I’d die if Maroon 5 crashed my wedding party. DIE!

Mystikal has my heart. He stole it when he said “Shake your ass, but watch yourself”… Gotta love a rapper who cares about my wellbeing. Like S, don’t forget to watch yourself while you’re shaking your ass. Ha ha. Then on the Stutter remix?.. Sold! And then he goes on Ellen? My Ellen? Sealed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmwZpGvmYVU

Rih is bae! That’s all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M77stISbaY

Happy Saturday. Cheers xx.


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