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Opinion

musings, Opinion, Randomness, thoughts

Let People Enjoy Things

 Except you’ve been living under a rock; you already know that the latest thing to have taken over the world is Pokemon Go! Incase you don’t already know, Pokemon Go is a location based reality mobile game that requires you to have an internet compatible iOS or Andriod device which you then use via GPS or Camera to capture, train & battle with virtual creatures ~ Pokemon. One more mobile/internet distraction but hey! People are OBSESSED and I’m sure the creators are so happily smiling to bank… Ka-ching!!!

All seems like clean easy fun and shouldn’t be a big deal right? Yes! Except there have been several reports of people getting shot & killed especially in trigger-happy America when they enter other people’s property in search of virtual pokemons and the home owners mistake them for trespassers/burglars. But there are also the people who have nothing but great things to say about this game; like the mum of an autistic boy who is suddenly interacting with people and seems to be making a lot of developmental progress on the premise of enjoying Pokemon Go. There are also the group of people who infer that anyone who is into the game is childish & jobless [because you should be busy chasing that paper and making bank, not literally chasing some virtual devil creatures] Lol.

What a time to be alive!

However, as expected, there has been a lot of criticisms of this new game and while reading the arguments for/against on twitter the other day, someone tweeted this…….

“LET PEOPLE ENJOY THINGS”

Such a simple statement yet it has stayed with me since the first day I read it. Since then, there hasn’t been a day I don’t tweet it or say it out loud to myself. Words so simple yet so succinct! Words so simple yet so meaningful and impactful. Words so simple yet so far reaching in consequence &implication. Clearly that advice transcended the pokemon debate for me and suddenly held a far more important implication for me – let people enjoy things.  In other words, live and let live! Basically, tolerate the opinions and behaviour of others so that they too will in turn similarly tolerate your own. It could all be this simple…..

LET PEOPLE ENJOY THINGS!

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For example, I personally love to eat soggy cereal but so many people will barf at this [until they finally see the light] lol. When I make cereal, I sometimes pop it in the microwave for about 30 seconds to get the milk warm and soak the crunch. I’ve been called disgusting for this and I usually just laugh it off because this cereal is going into my mouth not yours; so why so anal? However, on the flip side, there have been many times I judged people for some of the food choices they enjoy too. Hypocrite much! Let people enjoy things…..

What about our church shenanigans? We dole out severe side eyes to anybody who is dancing too hard or shouting too much or just being hyperactive in general [normal day in a typical Nigerian church] while we are sat in our corner being all poised and chic. Of course, there is always that one brother or sister who always takes things too far [we call it “doing the most”] and roll our eyes at them every chance. No problem! Except, you don’t know their story and even if you did, how exactly is their loudness/hyperactivity affecting you personally? Let people enjoy things….

Don’t we all have that one person/account we love to hate on social media? We scrutinize everything they do or say, we help them count their money, we call them materialistic, we suggest that their lives aren’t nearly as flashy as they try to paint it, we love to moan & bitch about them all the time yet…. We never actually unfollow them. Why? Glutton for punishment? We argue with them about what constitutes their reality and fail to realize that our Sunday best is some people’s meh. See these fingers…. Let People Enjoy Things.

There was a time I could go out EVERY SINGLE DAY and club at least once a week. These days though, the mention of going to a club gives me instant headache and I just can’t anymore. I don’t know what changed, but something did and that’s all well & good. However, I see people who hang up the boots and suddenly start making weirdly condescending comments towards folks who still enjoy that hard core night life. Contrary to popular Nigerian opinion, going hard with the night life scene doesn’t mean the person is jobless or unserious about their life’s priorities. These days I enjoy lounges & chill music better than smoke filled rooms with boom speakers but that’s just me; if someone enjoys the latter, that’s their prerogative…. Let People Enjoy Things.

Say about gay people and their rights, you don’t have to agree with their choices but you also don’t have to actively seek them out and be hateful towards them. What they do in their personal life shouldn’t matter as long as it doesn’t personally affect yours.… it’s so simple. Let People Enjoy Things.

Obviously, some of these are just mundane everyday examples but we carry this behavior into even bigger life issues and it affects our quality of life at work, school, relationships, marriages, etc. where any opinion expressed that is in any way different from ours is deemed stupid/silly or where if anyone shows an interest in something we don’t particularly like or enjoy, we attempt to rubbish. Piss poor!

Imagine a world where we all purposefully lived in this truth – to not try and doctor or police people’s choices about things that have no direct impact on our personal lives – however different those things are to the things we like/enjoy.

Personally speaking, this is not an easy thing for me to do because I can be so set in my opinions and truly hate anything that disrupts my normal BUT I am challenging myself going forward to let people enjoy things; whatever those things are and however far removed they are from my reality. I will……

….…. Let People Enjoy Things.

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Will you join me?

What do you promise to let people enjoy? Chime-in in the comments section below.

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PS: How have I been? I’ve been fantastic! Thank you guys for the check-ins, I appreciate them truly.

Still a beautiful baby girl 😀

I’ve been trying my hands at silhouette photography and below are some of my trials that turned out so well that I think I want to stop playing and truly learn this thing for real. What you say?

This is my fave!

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Have a lovely day xx

S.


14 Comments

Dating, musings, Opinion, Randomness, rant, thoughts

Dating sucks!

I hate the dating game/process. Hate!

Boy meets girl or vice versa – they vibe – they start talking – set up dates – keep other options open – not working? Bye! Working? Still keep options open sha. WTF yo?!!!! Its stressful. When you talk about dating and the stress that comes with it, people give you advice like – “Don’t over-think things”, “don’t take things so personally” “Just go with the flow” etc and my response is usually “HOW?”. Is there a switch I can just turn off and on? How do you not take it personal when someone you’ve been trading hilarity and enjoying bants with just goes cold turkey on you and you’re stuck with conversations/texts/whatsapp messages etc that just leave you questioning your comprehension skills? That someone by words or action is essentially saying to you “you just don’t do it for me[anymore]”? Especially when you really want to “do it” for them?  Am I a zombie abi a robot? Are we even allowed to admit that rejection whether implied or explicit hurts our feelings/ego? Does it make us less cool? Shebi we supposed to be all stoic and robotic and always on the “Bad bitch/nigga” P… sigh. SKRESS!!

Putting oneself out there is quite tough and it’s just not something that comes easily to me, even though I understand that it’s the only way to get to know someone…. it doesn’t make it suck less. And I understand that this is how it works, same as the process of decision making with most things in life – job, buying property/car, business etc. you have to weigh the pros & cons and see how it adds value and benefits you..yada yada yada. But how can we apply the same principle for stuff such as getting a job or running a business with matters of the heart? When a business deal falls through, does it feel like your heart is shattered in a million little pieces and you can’t breath? It does? Okay maybe that’s a bad analogy but fucking hell…. A job/business is not a human being. It doesn’t have feelings, no heartbeat,no pulse. Its just not at par. I think that approaching dating/relationships as we would with business investments is already setting oneself up for failure.

I’ve had friends say to me “I love dating”, “I enjoy dating” and I look at them like they’re speaking Spanish but overtime, I’ve realized that what they actually mean is “I love going on dates – the dinner/food/drinks” [there’s a difference]. I realize that they probably have no intent from the jump of getting to know that person truly; it was just “I’m bored, he’s available, I get to dress up” and this to me is the fundamental difference. I have never gone on a date just for the hell of it. I agree to go fully hoping I meet a nice guy with whom I make a genuine connection and this is why i’m usually disappointed when its just bleh. At that point i’m thinking – “I dressed up for this shit?”, not “at least the food was nice”. I mean, I can eat in my own damn house in my jalabia with no makeup on. It’s a waste of my time honestly and I find it quite upsetting. Dating [to me] is not a sport, it’s not something I do when i’m bored to while away time. It’s “I want to get to know this person”; too bad if it doesn’t pan out well but I just don’t come at it from the jump with the intention to just play as is the case nowadays. Waste of my time.

I like to think I’m a complete representation of myself on any platform – virtual or real life – but it seems most people aren’t a lot of the time and maybe this is the issue! Its like you’re meeting a different representative of themselves per different scenarios and its really mind boggling to me how people keep these many personas up. If you connect with me via an instant messaging platform or virtually, and we eventually make it to an actual physical date, rest assured you will be meeting the exact girl you’ve been chatting with, only prettier 😉 [this is not an ad]; but you can’t say the same for most people and maybe this is where the disconnect happens. Lord knows I can’t pretend to save my life, but maybe I need to learn it? Perhaps this is what people expect? That you stick to the script they have of you in their heads? Because right now, if you upset me, i’ll let you have it and if I’m happy, you’ll know, I can’t pretend to save my life. So I tend to assume people are 100 with me too until something happens and I’m like – wait! What? Warrapun? – sigh.

Its a cold out there guys. Maybe we need to do like our fore-fathers did it back in their time, weed out the feferity and approach this thing old school style. I personally don’t think its the worst idea to have a guy reach out to me and go “my mother knows your mother and she says you’ll make a great wife”. Ha ha. What you say?

Are you single in the city? Are you dating? What irks you? How do you swing it? Any pro-tip?

Share below.

Have a great week ahead guys.

S.


22 Comments