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Opinion

musings, Opinion, Randomness, thoughts

Blurred Lines

A quote…. A plea…. An advice…..

“Treat women the way you would like to be treated

          the way you would like your sister/mother/wife to be treated 

**Emphasis on the second line highlighted boldly**

Awwwww.  How kind and thoughtful and sweet. Right?  Well…. I see that quote all the time, I see the sentiment shared in so many different ways by both men and women and while it’s an honorable and sweet sentiment, I find the underlying implications are worrisome.

I thought to myself, hang on! So basically, to get one human being to treat another with some decency, kindness and compassion, we have to have appealed to their sense of family? That essentially, there are people who in their dealings with others can only be decent if they see the person they’re dealing with [in this case, women] as their family member? I have to say “what if I were your sister/mother/wife and someone was treating me this way” before I can access & unlock the kind/decent/compassionate side of a man’s brain? So on the flip side, if a person[man] can’t picture me as his sister/wife/mother then good luck trying to get him to NOT treat me like shit? Wow! If we were to reach then it follows that as a woman, how you will be treated has nothing to do with much – not your conduct/interaction/aura – but heavily dependent on if the other person has a mother/sister/wife [and they have a cordial relationship at the very least] and can picture you from that point of reference?

That is so fucked up!!

How then can we access this special reservoir of this unique brand of gender-relative  courtesy, kindness and compassion from the people who don’t have good relationships with their mothers/wives/sisters? What can we say to them? Such people have no benchmark in the first place, so who will be their reference point in their interactions with me? Or the ones who simply don’t have the ability to stretch their imaginations that far? Say for example, a man beats his wife and/or insults the crap out of his sisters & mother on the regular [they exist] then comes to the workplace and slaps his female colleague; based on the above sentiment, can you really fault him? Isn’t he in essence treating his colleague as he would his wife/mother/sisters? What about those guys that we see on the news who shoot/stone/behead women [and children] in those extremist religious places.  Do you really think they give a shit about whether that could be their mother/wife/sister? Haven’t we even seen scenarios where its family members instigating and leading these killings for all kinds of fucked up reasons?  If they had any respect for people’s right to life and existence [which is usually the crux], we won’t even be having this conversation.  If being a decent person in your interaction with others is going to be based on appealing to people’s sense of family ties then we must also appreciate the fact that people’s interactions with their sisters/wives/mothers vary greatly. Right? It goes beyond that. IT SHOULD! IT HAS TO! The focus should be to teach people to respect EVERY human on account of their HUMANNESS; nothing more.

I think that these types of sentiments and reasoning for what constitutes [im]proper behavior and expectations is the sister-root from whence other unhealthy facets stem. You hear stuff like “we are both from Imo state”, “na my Muslim/Christian sister/brother”, “we are from the same village”; which is all fine and dandy but what about the other persons who don’t fall under any of these umbrellas, what then? Are they fair game for shitty treatment and bad behaviour? Like when an ex told me he was pressured because the girl he had been cheating on me with was from the same state as him; as though my state of origin had suddenly changed from when we first met.

I once got into it with some royally stupid security guys at the entrance of an eatery/clubhouse and after calling me every name in the book, one of them goes – “I just dey leave you because you fit be my sister” – LOL. If this is how you act towards a person who “fit be your sister” then I shudder at how you’d treat the one wey NO fit be your sister. I soon realized that when Nigerians say stuff along these lines, they’ve already been hella disrespectful and are just trying to wrap it up with some faux sense of nicety and/or are just being a typical Nigerian by bringing up stuff that has absolutely nothing to do with the situation at hand.  It means nothing. Hogwash. Don’t think for a second that based off that flouncy sentiment, that person will hesitate to do you dirty if the opportunity presented itself.

Come to think of it, I don’t think I have ever seen/heard anybody advising women to treat men as they would their brothers/husbands/fathers. And why not?  Women can be mean too, women can be badly behaved too so why not? Abi the menfolk don’t need gender-relative sensitivity and kindness? I daresay that the former advice in itself, as honorable and well-meaning as it is also has a colorful sprinkling of sexism but I’m not going to get into that right now.

The quote rubs me a certain way especially because, I remember dating a guy who was so big on family; infact, his sister & mother are his life and it was adorable; except it didn’t stop him from cheating on me repeatedly, didn’t stop him from lying every chance he could [and even using his family member’s as a crutch for more lies], didn’t stop him from being an all-round dodgy and shitty boyfriend even though he wouldn’t want any of that for his mother or sister. So what then?

The point I’m trying to make here is, why don’t we just forget the gender and advice human beings to treat other human beings decently? You know, from one human to another and cut out this “e fit be your mama/sister/wife” bullshit.  It’s not helping anybody and it does nothing to curb people’s propensity to be vile because frankly, if you treating people decently is based on anything other than the simple/most important reason – THAT THEY ARE HUMANS, JUST LIKE YOU – then there’s a fundamental problem with your socialization process. I think that while I appreciate the sentiment and see how well-meaning it’s usually intended, I’d rather live in a world where people are taught to treat others well because….. Human.

It’s tough being a woman, even tougher being a woman in Nigeria. So while I’m looking for a guy to escort me into some premises because “prostitute until proven otherwise”, I’d appreciate it better if society implored people to treat me with common courtesy and decency simply for being human, just like the next person.

Election Weekend

This one time, in a silly & careless but totally necessary move, I left a place I shouldn’t have been at in the first place and walked by myself on a lone, dark and quiet street until I found and got into a random cab back home at 4am [all the while praying to Jesus and promising to never be so foolish]. Now if you know me, you know that was totally uncharacteristic and in hindsight, very stupid – I would never get into a random cab at night by myself and I’d never be caught dead on a lone dark street by myself let alone at 4am [nothing good happens outside at 4am]but I had to. This happened almost a year ago and even as I type this, I can’t help but wonder how inconsequential and low a person must think of you to not even bother checking if you at least got home safe, knowing fully well you were out in the dark by yourself at 4am on their account. It basically says, you can be dead and your bits chopped in a bag folded in a cab’s trunk for all I care [yes, I’m dramatic and I imagine the worst]. You’re going to teach a person like that common courtesy and decency by that quote up there? Good luck to you!!

Oh and my apologies to the boy I once told in anger that somebody will treat his sister worse than he’s treated me. What can I say?….. I’m a hypocrite. Nothing will happen to your sister okay 😀

Oh btw, I am currently obsessed with this picture of Ms.Cookie….

So much that I made it my screensaver…..

To unlock my phone, I have to slide my finger right across her boobies 😀

Air kisses to all of you :* :* :*

S.


14 Comments

Dating, Encouragement, Life, musings, Opinion, Randomness

Much Ado About Apologies

I’ve been sick as puppy for the past 4 days nursing malaria and flu [and aunty flo thought it was the funnest time to join the party too] so it’s been one hell of a sick cocktail. I’m not the type of person who lays in bed and acts like I’m about to die when I’m ill plus I hardly fall sick, so when I actually lay in bed, you know it really got to me. So in-between the malaria hallucinations, the uncountable rolls of tissue and nose blowing, the fluctuating temperature and inability to sleep in certain positions, I started getting stir crazy wondering where I could just go and sit and watch people and nobody will side eye me for blowing my nose every second? No where! So I did the next best thing to cheer myself up – made myself some lemon+ginger+honey tea and watched my favourite movie of all time – PRETTY WOMAN. And then it started raining… perfect weather!

If you know me, you know this is it. I can recite the entire lines in Pretty Woman from start to finish. It is my all-time favourite movie in the whole world and I can watch it every day. I think the world of Julia Roberts and her magical-musical-beautiful-widest-toothiest-MostSincereSounding-belly laugh. And I’m not alone because a quick trip to google will show you that the “Julia Roberts laugh” is actually a thing and it has quite the following. People wey sabi better thing!

Just listen to this!

Cute Story: Did you know the infamous necklace scene wasn’t actually planned? Apparently, Julia wasn’t feeling well during filming and so to make her laugh, Richard shut the case and her reaction was so perfect, they decided to keep it in the movie. Awww 🙂

Anyways, so I’m watching Vivian Ward steal Edward Lewis’ heart one belly laugh at a time and I’m laughing rather loudly from my couch when the movie gets to this part I’m not very giddy about – the fight scene after the polo event. If you haven’t seen Pretty Woman and therefore don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m sorry but I can’t believe you. Anyone who reads this blog should have watched that movie at least 10 times [I’ll add this to my header]; but I’m feeling generous right now so I’ll recap a bit. Here goes – Edward takes Vivian to this Polo event during which due to the incessant heckling from his evil stocky short lawyer friend [whose name is Stuckey… OMG I just clocked this. How Fitting!!!] he reveals that Vivian is indeed a prostitute. Expectedly, Stuckey proceeds to troll Vivian with this information and even propositions her and it all leads to Vivian and Edward getting into their first major fight. Big! Huge! [catch the plug?]

download (3)

Like I mentioned, I’ve watched this movie more times than I can count but for the first time something struck me that I hadn’t noticed before about this scene. You know how you can  listen to a song one million times but depending on where you are mentally or what you’re going through in that particular time in your life, one part of the song suddenly resonates on a level you’ve never experienced before? There! That’s exactly what happened yesterday.

Watch this!

Vivian: You hurt me

Edward: Yes

Vivian: Don’t do it again

Edward:  Nods and blinks in affirmative.

That’s all.

Listen people! When you’ve hurt someone and they come out with it to you, just the singular act of accepting and acknowledging their hurt/feelings is enough to diffuse the situation. When someone tells you you’ve hurt them, they’re hoping that you understand how your actions/inactions affected them; that’s not the time to start arguing about your thought process or how you see things [you can do this at a later time] but in that moment, just acknowledge their hurt and genuinely mean it.  You literally cripple and weaken them and only a difficult/crazy person will continue with fire after that. As in the movie, see how fired up Vivian had been, she packed her things and was ready to leave; but after that apology, she turned and went back into the suite and that marked the beginning of a deeper more genuine relationship for them.

Now if you’ve watched the movie, you know very well that Edward didn’t mean to belittle/hurt Vivian when he exasperatedly announced to Stuckey that Vivian was a prostitute. He was caught off guard and truly hadn’t envisaged answering questions about them or even being public with their relationship; plus, he was jealous when he saw her talking to David Morse[from the company they were looking to take over] but none of this mattered. When she said “you hurt me”, his only response was “yes”. Nothing more, just YES. In that moment, he prioritized her feelings. It didn’t matter what the facts were, it didn’t matter what his argument could have been, it didn’t matter the what/how/when/where; all that mattered was that she felt some type of way and he recognized that and was sorry. Simple! THIS IS HOW YOU DO AN APOLOGY. None of you, all of the aggrieved.

This to me is what constitutes a sincere and heartfelt apology.

Another thing that can make an apology extraordinary is the awareness that you have to let people come full circle on their terms. What do I mean? See when you apologise for a wrong and the person isn’t ready to accept it yet, you have to back off and let them stew and then maybe try again at another time and hope that by then they’d have come around. This is of course based on the assumption that the relationship is still important to you and you still want them in your life. There are times when people apologise for a wrong and when the wronged person rejects the apology, the wrongdoer gets mad and starts saying things like – “but I apologized, what else do you want me to do?”. In that moment, you’ve made the apology become about yourself and not the wronged person. Let people come around on their terms; chances are, that way, the emotions have fully being dealt with and there’s no residue hurt lingering to pose a threat at a later time.

One of my best male friends is someone I swore I’d never ever speak to. We had a rough patch in 2010 and he reached out to me almost immediately and apologised but I wasn’t hearing it and we pretty much existed like that until 3 years later I log on facebook on a random day and see that someone we both knew from uni had passed away. He says he saw I’d commented on the post and decided to send me a friend request which I accepted almost immediately and it wasn’t long before we were back to abusing each other everyday on whatsapp [that’s our love language]. He’s truly one of my favourite people, he makes me laugh till my sides hurt and I can be myself with him and not worry. Best guy! I had missed him too but chances are, if he had tried to talk to me sooner than he did, I still wouldn’t have listened. See, nothing about our fight/circumstance/story had changed, it was just that time had passed so I was in a better place mentally and thus ready to let it go, it was all me. I needed to get to the point where I was willing to squash it, on my terms and I’m just glad he was still willing as well. Because, let’s face it, there are times when you’re finally ready to squash the beef but the other person has completely moved on and that will suck but it’s a chance we must take. There’s no other way around it.

I’ve also been on the other side of the spectrum where it was me who was desperate for my apology to be heard/acknowledged/accepted and the person just wasn’t ready. This person didn’t even tell me what I did wrong, they just slowly X’d me out of their life and by the time I realized what was happening, I was already completely on the outside by myself and it hurt me so much because I would never have done that to them. In that moment, I could have taken my righteous indignation and rode off into the  horizon but I didn’t. I put myself in that person’s shoes and tried to understand where they were coming from ALL BY MYSELF as they wouldn’t even talk to me.  I sent messages, texts, emails, called our mutual friends, pleaded, solicited in every way I could even to an embarrassing point just to be heard because that’s just the person I am. I want to be able to look back at every interaction with anyone who ever mattered to me and know that I did everything within my power to right a perceived wrongdoing, because…..hyper-active conscience. It didn’t work. We still don’t speak but it’s not because of me as I soon realized the entire charade of anger was a facade at assuaging a guilty conscience that had nothing to do with me.

Once, I unknowingly hurt a friend and she stopped picking my calls, I was so worried and made all attempts to speak with her; when we eventually talked, I apologized and further asked that going forward, if we ever have a problem, she should please just talk to me about it like an adult. A few months go by and she stops picking my calls again…. We haven’t spoken since then and it’s been almost 2 years. I was done!! Done because I knew that if I reached out to her YET AGAIN to try and figure out what was wrong YET AGAIN, then that was going to become the dynamic of our relationship set in stone; where she’s always on one while i’m always the one scurrying around to figure out what it was and I just can’t live like that. Adults should address issues like adult. If I’m not speaking to you and it doesn’t bother you and you’re not speaking to me and it doesn’t bother me then I think we both know what that means for our relationship/friendship. I feel like the sheer effort I or anyone puts into trying to understand why/when someone is mad at them [especially when that person wont say why] is indicative of the fact that they  care; because trust me, there are people who don’t speak to me and I feel like I should write them a thank you note like – don’t ever stop! Don’t ever start. Ha ha.

I personally prefer for people to be forthright with me when I’ve upset/wronged them. Just tell me! But I’m a hypocrite because I don’t always tell people when they’ve upset me [at least not immediately]. I would eventually do so at some point but I always stew first [partly because it never ends well when I speak in anger]. So I know what it can be like; waiting for people to come around can be tough but like I said, if the relationship is important, you’d figure it out. And wait.

Another type of apology I personally detest is when people say – “I’m sorry you feel that way”. I feel like its insincere and it just doesn’t show me that the person understands or accepts the part they played in hurting me, but they’re apologizing anyways for how I may have understood their actions. In other words – I’m not sorry for what I did, I’m sorry for how you understood/interpreted it. I remember I once discussed this with a friend and he explained that when he uses that line, he’s actually acknowledging their feelings and that I’m too hung up on semantics. Lol. Maybe I am, maybe it’s true but till date, “I’m sorry you feel that way” just doesn’t ring as a sincere apology to me.

Remember though that sometimes, people don’t always set out meaning to offend/upset us, but because we are all human, shit happens so let’s try to cut each other slack. The litmus test is in the effort put into making it right. There’s probably one person/situation some of us have held on to and are waiting for an apology about….. let it go. Sometimes, you have to be okay with an apology that never came/will never come. But if it ever comes, it’ll just be a pleasant surprise. Don’t wait on it.

What do you think constitutes a sincere apology?

PS: I’m feeling a lot better, malaria has subsided considerably, I’ve only gone through one tissue roll today and my nose doesn’t feel so sore anymore. But I’m so bored, one of you should find a way to cheer me up….. movie/cheesecake ha ha 😀

La’ers xx

S.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


37 Comments

Dating, musings, Opinion, Randomness, rant, thoughts

Dating sucks!

I hate the dating game/process. Hate!

Boy meets girl or vice versa – they vibe – they start talking – set up dates – keep other options open – not working? Bye! Working? Still keep options open sha. WTF yo?!!!! Its stressful. When you talk about dating and the stress that comes with it, people give you advice like – “Don’t over-think things”, “don’t take things so personally” “Just go with the flow” etc and my response is usually “HOW?”. Is there a switch I can just turn off and on? How do you not take it personal when someone you’ve been trading hilarity and enjoying bants with just goes cold turkey on you and you’re stuck with conversations/texts/whatsapp messages etc that just leave you questioning your comprehension skills? That someone by words or action is essentially saying to you “you just don’t do it for me[anymore]”? Especially when you really want to “do it” for them?  Am I a zombie abi a robot? Are we even allowed to admit that rejection whether implied or explicit hurts our feelings/ego? Does it make us less cool? Shebi we supposed to be all stoic and robotic and always on the “Bad bitch/nigga” P… sigh. SKRESS!!

Putting oneself out there is quite tough and it’s just not something that comes easily to me, even though I understand that it’s the only way to get to know someone…. it doesn’t make it suck less. And I understand that this is how it works, same as the process of decision making with most things in life – job, buying property/car, business etc. you have to weigh the pros & cons and see how it adds value and benefits you..yada yada yada. But how can we apply the same principle for stuff such as getting a job or running a business with matters of the heart? When a business deal falls through, does it feel like your heart is shattered in a million little pieces and you can’t breath? It does? Okay maybe that’s a bad analogy but fucking hell…. A job/business is not a human being. It doesn’t have feelings, no heartbeat,no pulse. Its just not at par. I think that approaching dating/relationships as we would with business investments is already setting oneself up for failure.

I’ve had friends say to me “I love dating”, “I enjoy dating” and I look at them like they’re speaking Spanish but overtime, I’ve realized that what they actually mean is “I love going on dates – the dinner/food/drinks” [there’s a difference]. I realize that they probably have no intent from the jump of getting to know that person truly; it was just “I’m bored, he’s available, I get to dress up” and this to me is the fundamental difference. I have never gone on a date just for the hell of it. I agree to go fully hoping I meet a nice guy with whom I make a genuine connection and this is why i’m usually disappointed when its just bleh. At that point i’m thinking – “I dressed up for this shit?”, not “at least the food was nice”. I mean, I can eat in my own damn house in my jalabia with no makeup on. It’s a waste of my time honestly and I find it quite upsetting. Dating [to me] is not a sport, it’s not something I do when i’m bored to while away time. It’s “I want to get to know this person”; too bad if it doesn’t pan out well but I just don’t come at it from the jump with the intention to just play as is the case nowadays. Waste of my time.

I like to think I’m a complete representation of myself on any platform – virtual or real life – but it seems most people aren’t a lot of the time and maybe this is the issue! Its like you’re meeting a different representative of themselves per different scenarios and its really mind boggling to me how people keep these many personas up. If you connect with me via an instant messaging platform or virtually, and we eventually make it to an actual physical date, rest assured you will be meeting the exact girl you’ve been chatting with, only prettier 😉 [this is not an ad]; but you can’t say the same for most people and maybe this is where the disconnect happens. Lord knows I can’t pretend to save my life, but maybe I need to learn it? Perhaps this is what people expect? That you stick to the script they have of you in their heads? Because right now, if you upset me, i’ll let you have it and if I’m happy, you’ll know, I can’t pretend to save my life. So I tend to assume people are 100 with me too until something happens and I’m like – wait! What? Warrapun? – sigh.

Its a cold out there guys. Maybe we need to do like our fore-fathers did it back in their time, weed out the feferity and approach this thing old school style. I personally don’t think its the worst idea to have a guy reach out to me and go “my mother knows your mother and she says you’ll make a great wife”. Ha ha. What you say?

Are you single in the city? Are you dating? What irks you? How do you swing it? Any pro-tip?

Share below.

Have a great week ahead guys.

S.


22 Comments

Elections, Nigeria, Opinion, thoughts

Election Season is upon us

In general, politics is a topic I try to avoid and stay away from because…. Reasons! A lot of us do not have the ability to debate/converse objectively without it degenerating into insults and unnecessary pull-in(s); so I’d rather not. Usually.

However, this time, it’s actually impossible to avoid this topic. Everywhere you turn, you hear election talk. On social media, in church, standing on a queue waiting for a service, in a cab, with random strangers on the streets… it’s literally impossible to not get into it. Everything in Nigeria has been put on hold – meetings, business deals, jobs, you name it. Even stuff that have absolutely nothing to do with the elections.

E.g. You: Hi there. I just called to say hello and check how you’re doing, its been a while.                                                     Flaky  Guy: Ya… you know…with these elections, ya know….

LMAO. Staaaawp eet!

As a Nigerian, especially one living at home, you can’t deny that the entire country is on the brink of something major. Even the air you breathe is heavy with anticipation and trepidation and I’m worried that come March 28th, depending on how the pendulum swings, things may get even more tense. *Not to be a messenger of doom or anything*

I remember when GEJ assumed office as President of Nigeria. Vividly! Like it were yesterday. Although I didn’t live at home in Nigeria at the time, the general feeling of hope and excitement couldn’t be missed. On Facebook [and social media in general], people changed their names to add a hyphenated “goodluck”, there were all kinds of status updates and bbm broadcasts about the importance of a name; about how GEJ has steadily moved through the ranks of his career and politics via sheer goodluck [per his name] and how we must think carefully with naming our children accordingly. Ha! Then slowly it started changing, I noticed that people started removing the “goodluck” hyphenated attaches from their names and the general narrative on the streets started changing; the boko haram menace being the final nail on the coffin.

As a man, he comes across as quiet/reserved and one who has very few words, doesn’t have the typical I-come-in-here-and-take-over-the-room type presence that most Nigerians have; he’s quite likeable too. As a president however, he comes across as inept, unprepared and lacking gumption. Initially, I made a lot of excuses for him citing his lack of experience and asking that we all be patient with him as he too was just learning on the job [especially taking into consideration the circumstances around how the office of the president became his]; and the daunting job of governing a country as unique as Nigeria. But those excuses ran out fast. Do I hate the man? Certainly not! Do I think he can do better? Absolutely! He is surrounded by bad people who give him bad advice and do not have this country’s best interests at heart; and while that’s sad, it comes a time when blaming everyone else but yourself loses its authenticity. Like, if someone is out to make me look bad and I let them succeed at every chance, then I am the problem with myself. No?

I mean, just look at yesterday’s news headline. The jokes just tell themselves really.

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[Source: Bellanaija.com]

In a country with real pressing issues and people dying by their numbers daily, our government is concerned about women’s dressing, subliminally rationalizing/justifying rape and passing laws on people’s sexual orientation, but that’s an entirely different story for another day.

Also, the sudden flurry of effectiveness of the current administration barely weeks to the polls just scream suspect to me. I’m giving them a severe side eye because…. why now? It had to take  facing the real possibility of losing the office to wake up? Suddenly Nigerian lives and issues matter? I smell a dead rat and it’s hella funky. This doesn’t help my natural tendencies with cynicism. AT ALL.

PS: Dear Madam Sarah, contrary to what you may think, rape is actually caused by rapists.

On the other hand, in stark contrast to living life as a Nigerian during GEJ’s tenure; all I know about Buhari’s tenure as president of Nigeria is based on stories, hearsay, and reading history documents. And this to me is the fundamental difference between both men. I think I know one better, I know his story, I am familiar with his government and choices, and the other one is a total enigma to me. One talks and I want to cry in frustration, the other talks and I want to hi-5 my television. Knowing one better means I may be more critical as I do have my facts straight, and knowing one less may mean I’m looking in through rose-tinted glasses and forming incomplete opinions based on half patched bits; and vice versa. The narrative on the streets per Buhari is that he’s a dictator and can be heavy handed, I don’t know. I know nothing about his leadership style. However, while the man invokes some confidence in my heart when he speaks but I can’t help but wonder why he has run and failed so many times; and why a solid government [as it’s been said about his tenure back in the 80s] could not mentor a worthy/younger candidate to take over and continue where he stopped. In general, this thing of recycling same ‘ol candidates rubs me the wrong way.  A lot of people say he is a dictator and when I watch his interviews, I see traces of this come across in some of his responses, however, a case can also be made for a man who owns up to his past failures and makes no apologies/excuses for the past. HOWEVER, why does he refuse to show up for debates? This to me depicts bad sportsmanship and further reiterates some of the claims that he has some diva tendencies. In addition, I feel like the earlier postponement of voting dates may have set his candidacy back somewhat, in that, there are some people who were very certain  in February about voting for Buhari but are now doing the two-step shuffle in March, thus, each time he refuses to show up for a debate, he passes up on the awesome opportunity to sell himself to people who are still straddling the fence about him.  So while I’m definitely intrigued by this man, I don’t think I know him well enough.

A recurring theme with both camps is the totally unnecessary mud-slinging but I guess that’s just politics. This type of behavior I can expect from motor park touts but I’m usually very disappointed when I see it from supposedly educated people who should know and conduct themselves better. Can we stop? Criticism and/or praise is nobody’s birthright. I personally can like/dislike something but still see and point out the bad/good in it, my love/dislike for it doesn’t make me blind to objectivity and this is where a lot of us lose the plot. Your choice for a candidate is no saint and the opposition is not the devil; and vice versa. To some avid politics aficionados and connoisseurs, some of the points and questions raised in here may come across as basic and simplistic but I think that’s how people tend to respond when they don’t have answers – attack and debase. Don’t be like that.

I just returned from a trip from my home state and driving back through Nassarawa state into Abuja, there was heavy police/military presence and checkpoints every 3 minutes the entire trip and I’m not even exaggerating. A journey that usually takes 3-4 hours ended up being nearly 5 hours. I got into Abuja city and it was even worse, the turn leading into my street had and still has military checkpoints on both sides. I don’t know about you but with the boko haram menace and the general state of the nation, seeing heavily armed military presence on the streets doesn’t make me calm, instead, it makes me tense like are we at war? Why are there guns in my face when I’m just going down the road to buy chicken? It’s all very scary I must say, especially because some Nigerian security personnel are trigger happy. Bang! And it’s all over Jackie…. Next thing your face will be plastered  every place as a “suspect’…Suspect of what? Buying chicken? I no dey ooooo

The average Nigerian has VERY strong opinions about everything and politics is no exception. However, whichever candidate/party you choose, I want you to remember this – NONE OF THESE PEOPLE ARE WORTH DYING FOR!!!!!!

  • PDP vs APC = Six vs half a dozen, potato/poteto. Garbage in; garbage out! Therefore, if you really think any of these people will suddenly develop a conscience and do right by you as a citizen of Nigeria, you’re sadly mistaking and are setting yourself up for an epic dose of disappointment. It’s a catch 22 type situation and it comes down to choosing what you consider to be a lesser evil really.
  • Having a nice comment about one candidate/party doesn’t automatically translate to an endorsement/support and neither does a valid criticism translate to bashing/denouncement.
  • An apolitical/non-partisan stance allows for objectivity. In my opinion, none of these people deserve making enemies over. In my home, my brother & I have very different political views from my Mum and we all support different candidates but it doesn’t mean she’s not going to give me the money she promised me ha ha. My point? It doesn’t have to get messy.
  • Choose as you are led for the reasons that matter to you and based on your experiences. March 28th no far again; but stay alive.
  • Have an opinion, go out and perform your civic duty [vote] for your country and then come back home and sit your ass in one place. I’m saying!

 

Here are my survival tips for this election season: *Don’t say I never do nothing for you guys*

  • Stay indoors. Stay at home. STAY IN YOUR HOUSE [or bae’s house] 😉
  • Stock up on food & groceries. Hunger no dey look face. PS: If you and bae are planning a ‘stay-cation’, you better remember to also stock up on *ahem*, except of course you’re looking to invite me for naming ceremony by December then go on with your bad self.  *Howls*
  • Fill up your generator tank and buy extra fuel, you know you’ll need it. I noticed fuel scarcity had started again yesterday in the city of the Buj.
  • Buy extra NEPA units. There’s never light nowadays but just humour yourself.
  • Check that your DSTV/cable subscription is covered; it’ll suck if you can’t watch TV this weekend. PS: Did you know DSTV rates are increasing by April 1st? Take advantage of the last days of March.
  • Download all your favorite shows. Entertain yourself AT HOME.
  • Drinks? Sure! Stock up on your booze.
  • Stay at home guys. Be safe.

But all these things cost money obviously; money which nobody has seen in recent times. Like where the hell is all the money in this damn city?

Selah!!

***

PS: This blog is exactly ONE MONTH OLD today. *applause*

I am so chuffed!!

When I started this journey, I had a lot of uncertainty in my heart because I wasn’t sure I had the discipline and dedication to do this plus I worried about losing my authenticity depending on the feedback as I’ve always wanted my blog to be 100% reflective of who I am. But I was worrying for nothing. You guys have been the best!! I feel no judgement, I haven’t gotten one left sided comment at all, I get tons of encouraging and supportive messages and comments, plenty feedback and it’s been an all-round amazing experience thus far.

Thank you to everyone who has ever clicked on/opened this page. Thank you to everyone who has ever shared the links to my posts. Thank you to everyone who keeps coming back. Thank you to everyone who has subscribed.

If you are yet to subscribe and would love to, just check at the top right corner of this page for the button. And don’t forget to follow the blog on twitter @GBTheBlog.

Thank you guys!!

God bless Nigeria and May the best man win.

Stay Safe.

S.


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