All Posts By

GorgeousBskin

musings, Opinion, Randomness, thoughts, Tidbits

….Part of the list

First things first……

Happy Easter Guys!!!

How are y’all doing? Better than me I hope?

When I tell you guys I have had a crazy couple of weeks, believe me! Robbers attacked my home 2 weeks ago and even as I type this, I haven’t quite recovered from the trauma of that experience. Like I’ve always been a person with extra heightened senses a.k.a fear fear lol but following the robbery I’ve become so jumpy that even my own shadow startles me ..it’s that bad. A week after it happened, I went back once to spend the night in the affected house [in a bid to get over the fear] but I literally spent the entire night awake waiting for morning to come, after which I packed a bag and never looked back. As a matter of fact, I am typing this post from the peace and quiet of my new home [in a much more secure place]. Yep! I MOVED OUT! Don’t judge me. There was just no way around it.
So in the aftermath, I had to deal with the madness of house-hunting and moving and all it’s hectic trimmings; not forgetting to factor in the general uselessness of the Nigerian police in scenarios like this; plus the fact that the work front has been pretty tough too dealing with a very unpleasant week of unavoidable office politics. Basically….. I have been SKRESSED! Life steady serving me a tall cocktail of a shit-storm; all the demands of my responsibilities didn’t even pause for a second for me to catch my breath but….. STILL….
So when I tell you I was looking forward to this 5 day Easter break with every fibre of my being, I truly was. This is why when I got asked out on a date this weekend, I didn’t even think twice…. Been a minute I wore red lipstick so…. Let’s go!

The date itself was alright, great for the much needed break/distraction so win. My date and I are talking, vibing and all that good stuff when he asked me a simple question – “What turns you on in a man?” He asked….
Me [without missing a beat]: …… Reliability
Now I know without a doubt that he was trying to steer the conversation to a more sexual place but I was Obtuse Onyinye for the night. My response clearly had him confused for a bit but thankfully, he didn’t pursue the conversation further and I happily enjoyed the rest of my evening with a hug goodbye.
Two things –
1. Questions like “what turns you on” are right up there on the level of “what is your favourite colour/food” type question for me. It is basic and unimaginative and frankly, a waste of precious interrogation time. To ask me “what turns me on” tells me this is the type of dude with whom I’ll need to explain my jokes every time; this dude is as literal as they come. I’d be like – “It rained dogs today” and he’ll be like “you mean dogs fell from the sky? Hei… this girl you can lie oooo” Facepalm! If you’re a great conversationalist, the information you seek will eventually drop without you needing to be so high school with the questions. So instead of asking “what is ABC”, try having a conversation that will lead to ABC being shared without the person feeling like they’re being put on the spot. Subtle and easy like that. Wanna know what turns me on? Just keep the conversation lines open without going on direct fishing expeditions and pay attention; the answers will be so clear you won’t need to ask me these teenage house party drinking game questions.
2. Rinse and repeat number one.

But I digress………..

I have been on many a date this year already and I intend to go on more because I made this year my year of “recreational dating” even though I’ve protested it in the past so I thought that perhaps it’s time to save myself and all my prospectives’ time and roll out this blueprint – a copy of which will be saved and handy for quick dissemination to anyone who is interested in me. I’m all for saving precious time.

As a teenage girl growing up, if you ever asked me what I looked out for in a man, the typical “he has to be tall, dark & handsome” would not have been my response. My first ever real crush was real eye candy then but that wasn’t what cinched the deal for us; there’s no gbish gbish for an airhead. I confirmed he was on my wavelength when he wrote me a love letter and it didn’t come “out of the garden of love, as the birds were whispering in the beautiful sky and if so doxology”… ha! While girls my age were happy with supermarket greeting cards, mine made me personalized cards designed from scratch on corel draw by him and wrote me songs that had my names in the lyrics…. Basic has never been enough, I’ve always wanted more. Doxology to the left…

So even though that guy asked what turns me on in a guy; I’ll remix it for the purposes of this post. Ergo… consider this a – “What S looks out for in a man…. The blueprint”.

• RELIABILITY
rɪlʌɪəˈbɪlɪti/ [noun]
The quality of being trustworthy or of performing consistently well. The degree to which something can be depended on to be accurate

As I got home and pondered on it some more, I realized that my answer to the guy from earlier – “RELIABILITY” would be the same even if the question wasn’t meant in a sexual way. Reliability is truly the first thing [and the most important] character trait I look out for in any kind of friendship [with both sexes] and most especially in a relationship. I even discussed this a little in a previous post about my love language and nothing has changed since then.
There is NOTHING sexier than a person whose word you can take to the bank! Who says what they mean, who follows through on their words/promises, who stands by their beliefs, who isn’t flaky and who is just an all-round solid individual. A person who keeps their word long after the mood has passed just because they promised…. A person who will tolerate a little bit of discomfort and stick it out just so they don’t come across as dodgy.… nothing sexier!

INTEGRITY 
ɪnˈtɛɡrɪti/ [noun]
The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.

Although closely related to reliability, Integrity is a tad different but just as important as the first. This trait is what separates the boys from the men; it sieves out the chaff and leaves the gems. A person with some modicum of moral upstandingness, nobility and honour would simply never find themselves in certain questionable situations, whether or not there is an audience. You wont need to beat him with a stick to get him to do the right thing, you wont need to sweat. The end.

• INTELLIGENCE
I am pretty intelligent [yes I am] so pray tell what I’d be talking about with a slowie? Mr. Me has to intimidate me [in a good way] with his brain chops. I have dated a few slowies in the past and it’s a disaster waiting to crash because subconsciously, I don’t rate these men and it shows in my attitude.
Think critically, don’t just flow with conventional opinions and never stop learning. I’m not asking that he reads the encyclopedia back to cover but just be savvy in general, Shikena. A huge part of this component is Emotional intelligence because of what use are your smarts if you don’t know when to apply sense? Believe me when I tell you there is a direct vein that links this quotient to the happy juice factory in many a girl’s loins.

SENSE OF HUMOUR
Everyone has a sense of humour, so I guess the litmus test here is – what is your brand? Brit or Love and hiphop ATL? Efe’s “based on logistics” or “go fucking chew on that Debbie Rise”? Fluent in sarcasm? I must point out here that the “brand” of humour is the most important thing. No matter how many boxes a person checks on my list, if our sense of humour is not in sync then it’s back to the drawing board because the nuances of humour-in-sync can’t be manufactured. Sorry. I am still friends/ly with all my exes and this is why – long after the fluff and the sexy has burned out, the laughs remained.

• PARTNERSHIP
Gotta love a guy who is grounded and possesses that quiet confidence because he’s got nothing to prove, this guy has tamed his ego and his man-ness isn’t about arrogant dominance. He has no qualms showing vulnerability. Such a man understands that respect, communication, reciprocity, compromise etc are none negotiable aspects of a relationship and that being controlling and manipulative will earn him no points. He understands that his partner is his equal and her opinions/input matter. The only time I want to be subjugated is in the sack and even that requires my consent first.

• AFFECTIONATE
Physical touch that shows fondness or tenderness, whether or not it leads to sex is heartwarming. Not necessarily campaigning for Over The Top Vom inducing PDA but let ‘em see you’re into me [and you can’t help yourself]. It’s also a subtle way of asserting ownership and this is sexy AF.

• GENEROSITY
With time, feelings and money. Mr. Me needs to willingly share TONS. Holding back on any of these? We simply won’t work.

While this list is nowhere near exhaustive, it’s a VERY SOLID START. So there you have it.

Whenever I share this list, there is always that one person who jokes about how these tall lists get shorter with age. Ha ha. Not. Speaking for myself, my list has not grown shorter over the years, instead, it has grown more robust [hello Coza folk] and now more than ever, I’m more certain of not compromising on any of these as I would have in the past.
Anyways what do you make of my list? Also now that you’ve read mine, I’d like to hear yours too so please share with me down below about your “what I look for”. Has anything changed or remained the same since you last checked? Let’s hear it…

PS: Here is a photo of my gorgeous self still rocking the hell out my haircut… Just incase you’ve forgotten what my beautiful face looks like 😀

img_6828.jpg

Happy Easter again guys…

Mwahxx

S.


12 Comments

New Year

Happy New Year….

Hi Guys…

I just looked at my calendar this morning and it is the 31st day of January 2017. Woah! And because my last post was sometime in December of last year, I realized I hadn’t officially wished you guys the best year on here. I’m sorry.

HAAAAAPPPPPYYYYY NEEEEEEWWWWWWW YEEEAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

Honestly, last year was such a shit year for me [and for most people] that I’m sure we were all glad to see it go, like bye! 2016 is that year we’d be telling our children about years later and it’ll sound like an exaggeration, except it really isn’t. So if you made it through that shit storm and you’re still alive and kicking, there’s a lot to be thankful for. Truly.

  Although when you turn on the news, it seems like 2017 is the continuation of the evil of 2016; I mean, Trump is POTUS and the news headlines read like a bad horror movie and over here at home, the recession is still kicking our behinds but i’m not fazed.  I’m personally very optimistic about 2017, I feel like mentally, I’m in the right head space and so it’s only a matter of time before everything else falls into place accordingly.

I started a new job… yay!

Double yay!

So yea, my 2017 is off to a great start and I pray it’ll be same for you guys.

Resolutions? Frankly, I just want to be happy and that means living in the moment and living intentionally. That’s all!

Do you have any? Share with me, let’s laugh at the futility together.. haha

Have an amazing 2017 guys…

Mwwwwaaahhhh xxx

S.


2 Comments

Hair, Lifestyle, Randomness, wellness

I did it!!!! 

Guys….. Guess what?

I cut my haaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

Yes! ALL OF IT!

So what had happened? What’s the story? Sorry to disappoint y’all but there’s none. At least not a spicy one ~ nobody broke my heart, it’s not a declaration of any sort, it’s not the intro to some “new year/new me” BS and it’s certainly not a “big chop” a’la naturalista speak. Nothing! Except really bad split ends, a receding hairline a’la Iya Bose and a generally unhealthiness to my otherwise luscious Tiv hair.

I mean, I’ve toyed with the idea of shaving it all off for a while but I always ended up talking myself out if it. I’d tell myself that maybe I should wait till I had lost some weight ergo shed the chubby cheeks [lol], and/or wait until I had changed my wardrobe to match my new look etc. Then i’d get overwhelmed and just abort mission. Rinse and repeat!

So exactly a week ago, I took out  braids and when I tell you the braids ran away with my edges…. A mess! I just thought to myself – what the hell, it’s just hair, it’ll grow back plus I’m Tiv….hair aplenty! And that was that! There was no going back! I didn’t even let myself over-think it this time … On the night I decided, I was out by noon of the next day sitting in a barber’s chair armed with my inspiration picture like cut it!cut it!cut it!cut it! the hair is way too bad ,you need to cut it *lol*

It’s exactly a week today and I’m LOVING IT!! Shower time is a goddamn production. When the water hits my head and trickles all the way down my back, I can’t help but wonder to myself why I waited so long to do this. And then the fresh air that hits me each time I step out… Magical I tell ya!

I won’t lie, when I decided to cut it, I wasn’t sure what the outcome would be like. I worried that I’d look like a boy with breasts and it wont work with my thickums frame but let me tell y’all….. Best decision ever! As I walked out of the barber’s shop after cutting it, totally unsure about how I was feeling, I shit you guys not, some man was coming into the salon at that exact moment and said to me “you look beautiful”… whoop! I basically floated all the way back home like yea bitches! Ha ha

You know what’s surprising? The reactions I’ve been getting have been so great for my already inflated self esteem. I honestly thought I was wiping out an entire pool of potential toasters with my prepubescent boy cut but nah… It seems like what I did was open a wider pool. Heck; I’ve gone on 2 dates since this hair cut and I AM NOT COMPLAINING. LIKE AT ALL. And it’s only been a week! If we continue at this rate, I’d probably be ending 2016 with a husband. HA! jk! No not really! jk!

The only downside I’d say I’ve noticed is that with short hair, there can’t be that many “no makeup” days lest you end up looking like you’re sick.

img_5278

Without Makeup… Call me Bros!

I normally don’t wear makeup everyday [even when I’m going out] but with this new haircut, I have to at least fleek the eyebrows and dust my lips before I go out and that’s problematic for me [speaking as someone who doesn’t wear makeup everyday]. But for y’all hot potato mamacitas who do not like to carry last and generally fleek the damn face everyday, this is right up your street. So go forth and flourish!

You know what works tho? Red lips! Like… it’s a match made in short hair heaven.

I mean… am I glowing or nah? Hellur

My sister [who is totally jealous of my new hair btw] has been drooling talking about “maybe I should cut my hair too” and I’m just looking at her like ~ jealousy is a disease ~ “Amoshine when amoshine” lol. Also, she has the healthiest long hair, with perfect edges so why rock the boat when it’s not shaking? Girl bye!

My sister & I

You people should have told me sooner that life as an adult female with short hair is quite THE EXPERIENCE! I would have done it sooner. Since they didn’t, i’m here to tell you… If you’re considering taking this plunge, DO IT! All I advice is that you do your research prior – look at countless pictures of people with your face/body type rocking different short hair styles, ask your loved ones to help you pick, speak with stylists etc. There is a haircut to suit every kind of face/head shape, so find yours!

 PS: Shout out to my snapchat family for helping me vote with the options I posted asking their opinions. Y’all truly came through hard. Thank you so much.

PPS: Want to interact with the blog’s social media pages?

Twitter: @GBTheBlog

Instagram: @GBTheBlog

Snapchat: @Gorgeousbskin

So what you say? Do you like my new haircut?

Happy Holidays xx

S.


12 Comments

Thanksgiving, Tidbits, Tiv

A very Tiv Thanksgiving 

 Good Morning Lovelies 😀

Yes… Yes… I know… I’ve been bad. Forgive me & love me again… Please……

If I had to explain why I’ve been so quiet on here, you’d definitely understand and maybe even feel sorry for me but let’s not go down that path okay? Just know that I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to circle back here but I truly needed that time-out and I missed you guys a lot. How are y’all doing?

One thing I tend to take for granted is my overall good health; the worst illness I usually have is flu of which I may have a bout of maybe once or twice tops in a year. Basically, I hardly fall sick and I’m generally a person of sound mind & body all year round which is why when a random but routine visit to the hospital a few months ago turned in a quick unplanned surgery, it was so shocking & difficult for me. Yes guys, no prior talks, no warning, no preparation…. I just got there and the doctor was like “uhm, Ms. S. we are sorry but we can’t let you go home right away”… *cue palpitations & tears*. It was scary, traumatizing and painful but I’m happy to report that I’m 100% okay now and all is well with me. So now, when you ask me to count my blessings, good health will definitely be on the top of that list.

This year has truly been a strange year. It started with so much optimism and I was so sure it would end with my “solid” plans falling in place but life happened and here we are; optimism bank on deficit and a lot of ‘erm erm’s but I am still alive and that says my story hasn’t ended right? Right! Sure, I experienced a lot of trials this year, yes things/experiences hurt, yes I cried a lot, yes many of my plans fell through, yes all my ducks aren’t in a row but who is still here typing this blog post and nibbling on chocolate? It truly put things in perspective because none of those things compare to life & good health; and seeing how quick/easy the tables can turn was a very humbling/teachable moment for me. Like what is the worth of those plans, those wants, those needs if there isn’t life or if you’re laying on a hospital bed unable to function? Fix my mindset/perspective quickly!

On another note,  if you’ve read this blog long enough, you know that I constantly fight with God and I’m very open/vocal about those moments on here. This year [a few months ago actually] marked the beginning of a new chapter in our relationship – God & Me. I found myself circling back to my maker like the biblical prodigal daughter, we are still in the middle of “talks” that aren’t comfortable but we are definitely on the mend – me working on my attitude towards him – and things are looking better. This makes me happy because even in the worst of it, I knew that my rebellion & anger wasn’t the way but I can be so stubborn… sigh. God must sometimes look at me with amusement while shaking his head like “this child is such a clown”*hides face*

Anyways, in the midst of all of this and with me being in such an emotionally/spiritually pleasant head space, when I found out that 4th December was the official Thanksgiving Service in my church, I started preparing for it weeks prior – counting my blessings and putting on the garment of praise & thanksgiving. Thanksgiving in my church is a BIG DEAL ok! We literally roll out in our “sunday bests” and party it up in thanks to Jesus and I for one was not going to carry last. The moment I heard, I immediately knew I was going to go fully dressed as a Tiv Woman – repping my culture.

So come sunday the 4th; I woke up bright and early [4am] and got ready to go get my praise on. Anways… without further ado I present to you…… Kwase Tiv

Proudly Tiv!

   

Wasn’t able to get the best full lenght shots but …………

 

Tiv Women… or market women? Lol

Save for the random cultural night in undergrad, this is the first time in my proper adult life that I dressed in my Tiv cultural attire and so it meant a lot to me that so many people loved it; it was truly a hit virtually & in real life. I truly felt like a #TivPrincess… perhaps I should dress like this more often [when appropriate].

Do you like?

Love…..

S. xx

PS: You can still interact with the blog’s social media pages here – even when i’m quiet on here, I just might be popping on there so….

Twitter: GBTheBlog

Instagram: GBTheBlog

Snapchat: Gorgeousbskin

Also, don’t forget to subscribe on the top right corner of this page and share with your friends if you’re so inclined.


4 Comments

musings, Opinion, Randomness, thoughts

Let People Enjoy Things

 Except you’ve been living under a rock; you already know that the latest thing to have taken over the world is Pokemon Go! Incase you don’t already know, Pokemon Go is a location based reality mobile game that requires you to have an internet compatible iOS or Andriod device which you then use via GPS or Camera to capture, train & battle with virtual creatures ~ Pokemon. One more mobile/internet distraction but hey! People are OBSESSED and I’m sure the creators are so happily smiling to bank… Ka-ching!!!

All seems like clean easy fun and shouldn’t be a big deal right? Yes! Except there have been several reports of people getting shot & killed especially in trigger-happy America when they enter other people’s property in search of virtual pokemons and the home owners mistake them for trespassers/burglars. But there are also the people who have nothing but great things to say about this game; like the mum of an autistic boy who is suddenly interacting with people and seems to be making a lot of developmental progress on the premise of enjoying Pokemon Go. There are also the group of people who infer that anyone who is into the game is childish & jobless [because you should be busy chasing that paper and making bank, not literally chasing some virtual devil creatures] Lol.

What a time to be alive!

However, as expected, there has been a lot of criticisms of this new game and while reading the arguments for/against on twitter the other day, someone tweeted this…….

“LET PEOPLE ENJOY THINGS”

Such a simple statement yet it has stayed with me since the first day I read it. Since then, there hasn’t been a day I don’t tweet it or say it out loud to myself. Words so simple yet so succinct! Words so simple yet so meaningful and impactful. Words so simple yet so far reaching in consequence &implication. Clearly that advice transcended the pokemon debate for me and suddenly held a far more important implication for me – let people enjoy things.  In other words, live and let live! Basically, tolerate the opinions and behaviour of others so that they too will in turn similarly tolerate your own. It could all be this simple…..

LET PEOPLE ENJOY THINGS!

991e7f2a2ca2b516134dd032248af5c4

For example, I personally love to eat soggy cereal but so many people will barf at this [until they finally see the light] lol. When I make cereal, I sometimes pop it in the microwave for about 30 seconds to get the milk warm and soak the crunch. I’ve been called disgusting for this and I usually just laugh it off because this cereal is going into my mouth not yours; so why so anal? However, on the flip side, there have been many times I judged people for some of the food choices they enjoy too. Hypocrite much! Let people enjoy things…..

What about our church shenanigans? We dole out severe side eyes to anybody who is dancing too hard or shouting too much or just being hyperactive in general [normal day in a typical Nigerian church] while we are sat in our corner being all poised and chic. Of course, there is always that one brother or sister who always takes things too far [we call it “doing the most”] and roll our eyes at them every chance. No problem! Except, you don’t know their story and even if you did, how exactly is their loudness/hyperactivity affecting you personally? Let people enjoy things….

Don’t we all have that one person/account we love to hate on social media? We scrutinize everything they do or say, we help them count their money, we call them materialistic, we suggest that their lives aren’t nearly as flashy as they try to paint it, we love to moan & bitch about them all the time yet…. We never actually unfollow them. Why? Glutton for punishment? We argue with them about what constitutes their reality and fail to realize that our Sunday best is some people’s meh. See these fingers…. Let People Enjoy Things.

There was a time I could go out EVERY SINGLE DAY and club at least once a week. These days though, the mention of going to a club gives me instant headache and I just can’t anymore. I don’t know what changed, but something did and that’s all well & good. However, I see people who hang up the boots and suddenly start making weirdly condescending comments towards folks who still enjoy that hard core night life. Contrary to popular Nigerian opinion, going hard with the night life scene doesn’t mean the person is jobless or unserious about their life’s priorities. These days I enjoy lounges & chill music better than smoke filled rooms with boom speakers but that’s just me; if someone enjoys the latter, that’s their prerogative…. Let People Enjoy Things.

Say about gay people and their rights, you don’t have to agree with their choices but you also don’t have to actively seek them out and be hateful towards them. What they do in their personal life shouldn’t matter as long as it doesn’t personally affect yours.… it’s so simple. Let People Enjoy Things.

Obviously, some of these are just mundane everyday examples but we carry this behavior into even bigger life issues and it affects our quality of life at work, school, relationships, marriages, etc. where any opinion expressed that is in any way different from ours is deemed stupid/silly or where if anyone shows an interest in something we don’t particularly like or enjoy, we attempt to rubbish. Piss poor!

Imagine a world where we all purposefully lived in this truth – to not try and doctor or police people’s choices about things that have no direct impact on our personal lives – however different those things are to the things we like/enjoy.

Personally speaking, this is not an easy thing for me to do because I can be so set in my opinions and truly hate anything that disrupts my normal BUT I am challenging myself going forward to let people enjoy things; whatever those things are and however far removed they are from my reality. I will……

….…. Let People Enjoy Things.

download

Will you join me?

What do you promise to let people enjoy? Chime-in in the comments section below.

***

PS: How have I been? I’ve been fantastic! Thank you guys for the check-ins, I appreciate them truly.

Still a beautiful baby girl 😀

I’ve been trying my hands at silhouette photography and below are some of my trials that turned out so well that I think I want to stop playing and truly learn this thing for real. What you say?

This is my fave!

Don’t forget to subscribe to the blog on the top right corner of this page and to follow our social media pages:

Twitter: @GBTheBlog

Instagram: @GBTheBlog

Snapchat: Gorgeousbskin

Have a lovely day xx

S.


14 Comments