What a month I’ve had! I mean yea, it’s called the month of March but it didn’t have to be so literal did it? Even though i’m physically 100%; emotionally & mentally, i’m completely drained.
Last we talked, I did mention I was in the process of moving out of my old home so between figuring that out, securing a new space [while momentarily staring homelessness in the face], dealing with greedy/dubious agents & artisans and an unfortunate mishap requiring drawn out dealings with the police [long story], it’s been a real drain. I’m sitting here writing this, having just returned from the police station and thinking to myself how the difference between a good vs bad day in Nigeria can be attributed to something as simple and basic as Air Conditioning.
BUT… I’m still alive. And kicking it!
In the course of all these, it seems I’ve become somewhat of a recluse; ergo, plenty time to reflect – on past choices and on what’s important today – and I am happy to say that now more than ever, I’m assured that I chose right and I’m on the right path headed towards the big picture.
I also learnt recently that – No one person can be ALL things to you – It is simply unfair and quite frankly unrealistic to think so. For several reasons, life happens! People will disappoint you [even when they don’t mean to] and it’s just human nature – all intrinsically flawed. Like a friend rightly opined – people mostly mean well but they all have their own personal stuff to deal with and it’s not easy attempting to juggle that coupled with those of friends & loved ones; so for e.g if at any point he’s being a great friend to me, he can almost bet that at that particular time, it just means he’s out there being a bad friend to another because ability, resources & time are finite. ALL FACTS.
However, there is a vast difference between those and the ones who CONSTANTLY let you down so casually without any feelings of guilt [especially when you would break your back trying not to let them down] and you must learn that difference. Something about – Making someone a priority when you’re only an option to them –
Which leads me to this thing about expectations. Many a fancy quote exists about curbing one’s expectations to avoid disappointments… My! My! how straight-forward and easy it all sounds! However, in the actual application to life’s scenarios, how realistic is that? Every single relationship in life is built on the premise of expectations [whether explicit or implied] and the success or failure of said relationships depends heavily on how those expectations are catered to. For e.g, you expect for your parents to provide for you[till a certain age at least]; you expect for people to treat you with decency, courtesy & respect, a baby expects to be 100% tended to by it’s caregiver, you expect for a friend to help you abuse the life out the boy who broke your heart, you also expect they not go behind your back and do you dirty etc. When a baby’s nappy is full I doubt the parents will think twice about changing them because THERE IS A CODE. As adults, when your emotional sensitivity/vulnerability is pissed on by someone who should know better, it’s a full declaration of all things UN-NICE and at that point, all talks about curbing one’s expectations fly out the window. Fuck that! The only thing you can try to do is to not [knowingly] cause your friends & loved ones stress but where someone already sees you as a liability, you’ve already lost.
See, the thing about human interactions is, it’s a two-way street and you can’t talk about one in isolation of another. You must take the time to assess yourself in any scenario that stung and ensure that what you’re bringing to the table is valuable because, no value – we toss out. No questions! I don’t think people do this enough. So it’s imperative to repeat…..
NEVER OVERESTIMATE YOUR PLACE IN A PERSON’S LIFE.
Tomorrow, I resume police runs but for today…….
It’s fridaaaaaaaaaaaaay, let’s go have fun *splits*
PS: Got some great news today! Will share soonish
*cue happy dance*