Election, Elections, Nigeria, Randomness

That Nigerian sense of humour

The Nigerian sense of humour is the stuff of legends. No contest! It should be bottled and sold; export worthy. I’m telling you, Nigerians are so funny. We joke about EVERYTHING!!! So much that it can get us in trouble [especially with people who don’t get us]. I personally think that our unique sense of humour is the sole reason why we are still a standing as a people/nation today. We’ll be hurting but still cracking jokes, still laughing….still marching on. Champs!!
I’ve been on twitter a long time, since 2009 *coughs* and it’s purely because twitter is jokes! In the entire time, a quick visit to my timeline is guaranteed to give me proper belly laughs to the point where I’m crying real tears; even on a bad day. Nigerians just can’t help it! Sometimes it can be annoying; but majority of the time, its pure jokes and hilarity.
Although Nigerian twitter doesn’t always get along, there are some days that some type of chemical reaction takes place that leads Nigerians to be united in the roast front and some purely epic unadulterated hilarity ensues. Stuff that you’ll remember in 5 years and still keel over laughing, jokes that comedians haven’t even dreamt of…. ALL FOR FREE. Who remembers the Rondo & Preshus twit-fight of 2011 that led to the #KpanshingPrices hashtag and went on to trend worldwide for almost a week? #RantsAboutAnts? What is the website of the nscdc? *guffaws* When Nigerian twitter gets to that level of exceptional-ness [yes I just made this word up], you better just open 3 tabs and soak it all in.
Anyways, Nigeria is currently in election season and having just concluded voting for the presidential and senatorial seats, some of the collated results from states began to be shared/announced last night according to Jega the INEC chairman’s moderation. This is a snippet of what followed.

1) Jega began the process by reading this long ass speech that went on for what seemed like 40 years… Everyone was basically like; dude, this is not why we are here oooo. Then I see this tweet on my timeline.

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LMAO! So inappropriate. Like that time when Mama peace said during a campaign that she had tasted Wike and that he is good and Nigerians start cracking jokes about how Wike must eat a lot of pineapples. LMAO I cannot!!

2) People just weren’t sold on the sign language.

FullSizeRender (4) Epp me. Eep me. WTH?!! LMAO.

FullSizeRender (2)The accuracy of this in my mind! Because, I’m pretty sure nobody says Abakiliki in sign language school. Knock it off!

FullSizeRender (1)Cry with me!

FullSizeRender (6)At this point I was crying real tears. So rude!

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Listen, I’ve been hungry many times in my life and I will tell you this, nothing else matters at that point. Please understand. Someone else said, what if the sign language fellow has already announced the winner? Plot twist!

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This one struck a nerve because, in secondary school I actually choreographed Diana Ross’s – He lives in me –  with 2 of my road dawgs and we were booed off the stage. This tweet brought back bitter repressed memories; salty tears*

FullSizeRender (11)Doesn’t even matter if sign language fellow is Muslim or seventh day Adventist. Sign of the cross it is. Have a seat Catholics!

3)FullSizeRender (5)How about they just buy scratch cards and check it online like jamb score? Yea? Okay!

4) When they announced Enugu’s result…. Hain

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But Enugu, why is the capital the same with the state? Looking at you too Bauchi, and Gombe, and Kaduna, and Kano and…. You know what? Nevermind.

5) I saw Ekiti and rice and then I went to Google images…..

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LMAO. Carbs! Where’s the protein? And the fruit? Asking for too much? #EkitiAnthem

6)

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Never have I seen more honesty being displayed. He’s excused. No further comment.

7)When the Kano result dropped……

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8) As more APC favorable results kept dropping

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Someone actually made an APC formation a’la football: 4-4-2  Ahahahaahahhahhahaha

9) Jega asked for a 4hr recess to reconvene at 8pm….

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I reckon Jega sent this back:

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…… And another 10 minute recess which lasted more than an hour.

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I think this watch should become the “Nigerian Watch”, a symbol of our IDGAFness. Our Aba brothers can make it. I should get the contract. I’ll share the proceeds with you Black Poet 😉
10) More hilarity……

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Koye wins for puns. Puntastic. Pungasm. Punny. [I better stop]

11)

FullSizeRender (9)Why cabbage? Can I be a selfish carrot instead? No wait! A selfish pink grapefruit.. at least its cute. 😀

12) Wouldn’t be complete without the #TwitterAfterDark features.

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Bad bad children. Naughty corner. Now.

13) This one….. summed it all up quite nicely

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Make that a DEFINITELY! Our sense of humour is unparalled.

 

***

Can I just say, that all the jokes and laughs aside, this is the first time that me (and many of us) are this involved in our democratic process. Nigerians are awake and our politicians aren’t sleeping easy anymore. We are asking questions, demanding our rights and fucking shit up for hitherto easy passes; and this to me is a major win already. No matter the outcome of this elections, democracy has fixed its root in Nigeria and will win. We did good and the best is yet to come. May we have peace.

God Bless Nigeria.

Cheers

S.


32 Comments

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32 Comments

  • Reply Dov3li March 31, 2015 at 9:20 am

    God Bless Nigeria!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin March 31, 2015 at 9:24 am

      Ameeeeeeeen!!!!!!!!

  • Reply J March 31, 2015 at 9:21 am

    I laughed so hard while reading this. Just as hard as I did when I first saw these tweets.
    I enjoy reading your posts so much, you should have started this earlier, S. More power to you

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin March 31, 2015 at 9:25 am

      Awwwwww thank you J . You’re very kind, better late than never right? Mwaaaaahxx

  • Reply Gerry March 31, 2015 at 9:29 am

    Thank you for blogging. I cannot believe you didn’t start this sooner. Your blog gives me life. I mean it.

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin March 31, 2015 at 9:35 am

      These are the type of comments that make my day. Thank you Gerry, I appreciate this a lot. Keep reading xx

  • Reply Yinks March 31, 2015 at 9:31 am

    Haha, loved, loved, loved following up with the results via twitter. Was driving home in traffic, made the journey bearable, I tell you. PS: you missed one “twitter after dark” meme – the one about hand action with an Ekiti babe and pulling out with rice on the fingers #iDied

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin March 31, 2015 at 9:37 am

      Oh I didn’t “miss” it Yinks. I deliberately skipped it because… Triple X rated. Ha ha. My mother may stumble upon this blog someday … Loool

  • Reply OGE March 31, 2015 at 9:43 am

    Hahahahaha, you can’t take it from we Nigerians. Our sense of humour is on a top notch. God bless Nigeria.

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin March 31, 2015 at 9:52 am

      Indeed! Amen

  • Reply Zitera March 31, 2015 at 10:24 am

    I fogging LOVE this piece!! You can bend us but you can break us! Not when we can laugh the pain away!! Long live Nigeria!!

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin March 31, 2015 at 10:34 am

      Indeed. Long live Nigeria. Thanks Zitera xx

  • Reply singleingidi March 31, 2015 at 10:32 am

    following the tweets yesterday had me rolling for hours..you have got to love Nigerians.

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin March 31, 2015 at 10:34 am

      We are truly special!

  • Reply Tayo March 31, 2015 at 10:39 am

    Hahahahahaha I definitely laughed out loud more than once reading that. Thanks for the catch up too for those of us sleeping and couldn’t witness the hilarity over the night. Great post S.

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin March 31, 2015 at 10:45 am

      Thanks Tayo. You’re most welcome 😀

  • Reply Zee March 31, 2015 at 10:47 am

    Love love love the laughter.

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin March 31, 2015 at 10:55 am

      Me too! Enjoyed it so much .

  • Reply Reclvse March 31, 2015 at 10:58 am

    Really funny post, if I Dutse so myself… (Sorry, Koye)

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin March 31, 2015 at 11:01 am

      Thanks Sisem 😀

  • Reply Lan March 31, 2015 at 12:14 pm

    GB, all day e’ry day!!!!!

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin March 31, 2015 at 2:06 pm

      Thankaaaa thankaaaa

  • Reply Doosh March 31, 2015 at 1:41 pm

    some of these need to be framed in gold!! …meanwhile I remember a certain person circa late 2008/early 2009 refusing to join Twitter because she didnt get it and was a facebook purist.. 🙂

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin March 31, 2015 at 2:07 pm

      Well look at me nooooooooow!!!! I’m the captain now ha ha 😀

  • Reply Jennifer. April 1, 2015 at 2:32 pm

    I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. God bless you babes. Lovely lovely piece!

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin April 1, 2015 at 3:23 pm

      Bless you too 🙂

  • Reply Veevalicious April 1, 2015 at 8:19 pm

    Oh bizie, I’ve laughed so hard. This is simply (as you would say) EPIC. Don’t stop blogging my dear. You’re made for this particular brand…. A little bit of everything. One love.

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin April 1, 2015 at 8:30 pm

      Thank you Veevalicious…. Won’t stop! :*

  • Reply musingsofagidimallam April 2, 2015 at 2:37 am

    I literally had a Tweetdeck tab open all of Saturday, Sunday and Monday monitoring things on Twitter. Legit, i still don’t understand why Twitter isn’t charging us for being on Nigerian Twitter. The bants is the barest!
    Well done S. So proud of you and how your blogging is coming along.

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin April 2, 2015 at 7:03 am

      This!!!!! [Nigerian] Twitter can’t/shouldn’t be free, it’s too dope!
      Thanks Mallam :*

  • Reply FrankZephyr September 10, 2015 at 1:36 pm

    I totally loved and laughed so hard at this…. I hope there’s more where this came from. going to follow you on twitter now don’t disappoint.

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin September 10, 2015 at 1:46 pm

      Phew!!!!! The pressure!!!!! I try my best Frank, stick around 🙂
      And don’t forget to subscribe. Thank you xx

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