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Randomness, rant

Oh the pressure….. of a name!!!

So in church today, Pastor said we should introduce ourselves to our neighbors and say hello.
Me: Hi, I’m Seember
Neighbor: Cindy?
Me: Say-aim-bay
Neighbor: Same day? Where are you from?
Why is this always happening?


Other versions of my name I’ve heard: December, Assembly, Sumbo, Simbi, Zembe, Sambe, Samba, Simba (Mufasa that one time)…and a whole lot more ridiculousness.

See I’ve always thought I had a very common name. It’s Tiv. Where I’m from, if you stood in a large group of people and randomly yelled out Seember, I bet you half the room will turn because….common! So imagine my confusion when people ask and say to me in exaggerated tones “OMG! That’s such a unique name, I’ve never heard it, where is that from? Tiv? Is that from Kogi?” etc. I never quite know how to answer these.
First off, when Nigerians do this, it irritates me. Now I’m not saying all Nigerians must know every name and its origin but when I get those extra questions like “Tiv? Where is that?” I just mentally check out of that conversation.
Nigerians in general are very well read, travelled and exposed, we have friends every place. We learn their names – Chinese, Russian, Polish, German, etc – and we say them right. Names such as – Przemyslaw, Zakrzewski, Wozniak, Safstrom, Ljungberg, Eklof, Lofqvist and those footballer names – full of consonants and alphabets that are missing from the English language sef. But we say these names and we say it right. Ergo, not knowing how to pronounce a Nigerian name (or even caring to make a proper attempt) and wondering if “Tiv is Kogi” makes me wonder if it’s about selective interest. How is anyone asking if Tiv is Kogi? First off, one is a tribe/language and the other is a state, lol. And while we are on the topic, asking someone if they speak Benue/Kogi/Kaduna etc. is not correct; states are states and the languages spoken therein vary greatly even in name [stay with me!]
Now, I do not know every name in Nigeria, but I like to think I can give a good guess of possible origins when I hear any and I dare say I can pronounce it well once I’ve heard it enunciated. Didn’t we all recite our 36 States and capitals in primary school? Didn’t we all read our Simbi and Ali go to school? Bassey, Okon and Edet lived in Calabar; Passport of Mallam Ilia; and lots more? Your knowledge of Nigeria cannot be limited to Lagos, Abuja and your home state. Too poor.

Are you from Tiv? Do you speak Benue? No I am from Benue and I speak Tiv. My name is Seember [say-aim-bay] and I know how to say your name right. Bye for now 😀

PS: The other day I was watching Wendy Williams and her guest for the day was Quvenzhane Wallis; Wendy just couldn’t get it right. She said the name at least 10 times and each time wrong. Is it too much to ask that you get the name of the guest on your show right? Pfft!!

PPS: I took some selfies on my way back from church because….. VAIN!! Plus, you just don’t let good lighting go to waste 😀

Also, brownie points for anyone who knows the movie I referenced in the title of this post.

IMG_2700        IMG_2701

Do you have one of those names that gets butchered alot? Tell me about it below, lets rant together 😀



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  • Reply Veevalicious March 1, 2015 at 8:04 pm

    I can sooo relate to this! I think my name is simple enough VEREM just 2 syllables VE-REM but I’ve been called all sorts! Top on the list, Vera! I also get Vere (what happened to the M??), Verum, Veron, Veram, Fere?, Pere, Bere, Virayn… In secondary school some called me Gayrium (as a joke!) And of course Verem…. With all kinds of intonations. Phew!

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin March 2, 2015 at 10:17 am

      And your name is so easy Ms V.

  • Reply nguyilan March 1, 2015 at 10:34 pm

    Mine is NGUYILAN. I’ve been called Nrenland, Greenland, William, even GORAYLAN, Nguela. “Lan” hasn’t fared any better Lanre, Lani ( La-knee), Land, Lamp, Lam (Adesina?)
    Cue roll of eyes

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin March 2, 2015 at 10:16 am

      Looooooool I see a pattern with Benue names

      • Reply Adoga Mcloven March 6, 2015 at 2:58 pm

        Hehe….at least u haven’t been called a “Gorilla”.

  • Reply awizii March 2, 2015 at 10:19 am

    You’ve got a really nice name. Never heard it before. First time I saw it I pronounced it as S-I-M-B-A (Please don’t judge me). Matter of fact if I hadn’t stumbled on this post I won’t have known how it was pronounced.

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin March 2, 2015 at 10:30 am

      Thank you so much. Simba is one of the most common mispronunciations I get , I’ve made peace with it 😀

  • Reply awizii March 2, 2015 at 10:21 am

    My surname gets butchered a bit though. (ADUNSE) pronounced (ah-dun-shay) but hey if you’ve got that Yoruba lilt it works for you pretty well otherwise I’ll just have to manage whatever people can pronounce. Only a few people get it right.

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin March 2, 2015 at 10:32 am

      I like it! I’ll be that nuisance always saying “you don’t say?!!” Per every sentence you make. Ha ha.
      Without even being told, I’d know how to pronounce your surname because of how I know Yorubas pronounce the letter S

      • Reply awizii March 2, 2015 at 10:57 am

        That’s awesome. 🙂

  • Reply Mishdoo March 2, 2015 at 10:31 am

    Lmao! Like when people pronounce my ‘Wandoo’ as “Oando” and ‘Michelle’ as “Michelin”. I can understand Oando but Michelin? Really?

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin March 2, 2015 at 10:34 am

      I think they’re sometimes trolling just to get a reaction out of you. Like how we all purposely refuse to say Karrueche’s name right. Maybe this is my karma lol

  • Reply SUMBO March 2, 2015 at 11:29 am

    oh my! used to think i was blessed with one of the most easily pronounced yoruba names, till i hear people’s interpretation of it, i’ve been called tokunbo, bimbo, osunbor, and jumbo. Really!! its just S-U-M-B-O!

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin March 2, 2015 at 9:53 pm

      Lol I get called Sumbo too. Hi namesy

  • Reply dooshima March 2, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    I’ve got Duetchsmark and Hiroshima. …surprisingly. ..Joshua is the constant one..how the fudge can a girl be named Joshua!!

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin March 2, 2015 at 9:55 pm

      Duetchmark? Hiroshima? Ahahahahahahahahaha those are legit trolls. Joshua kinda sounds like Dooshima though, if the person has kpomo lips lol

  • Reply Iengemdoo March 3, 2015 at 2:12 pm

    Lmfao… This post was for me by the way. With a name like Iengemdoo. .. I’ve heard all sorts. Parents thought let her use her English name so she doesn’t get picked on. I wish they didn’t though. Let them deal! I loooove my name now. But people pronounce it as though it were a Korean name or Chinese.
    Also ima be needing a prize at this rate. I got it on twitter and still getting it here. PRETTY WOMAN…. One of my favorite movies ever. OK epistle over.

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin March 3, 2015 at 2:58 pm

      I love your name too, truly unique. And yes, you won!!! The price was brownie points remember?

  • Reply Jayme March 4, 2015 at 3:30 pm

    Hmmmmm, MKYONE the most butchered name ever, Mky-one, nkone, mkinne etc

  • Reply Omofola March 11, 2015 at 7:11 am

    I can totally relate. My surname is one of those typical Urhobo names. Almost every time I get asked where I’m from. Lowkey laughing when I pronounce it, sounds easy and they become confused cuz the spelling is looking like I’m from the moon.

  • Reply Omofola March 11, 2015 at 7:14 am

    I feel when you have to pronounce a name that’s looking like Arabic and all, why don’t you ask the person in question to pronounce it for you instead of butchering the name. *rme

    • GorgeousBskin
      Reply GorgeousBskin March 11, 2015 at 8:00 am

      Lol I get you. But even with that, there are no guarantees cos they pronounce it back at you and you’re looking at them confused like is that what I just said? There really isn’t any winning with this. Ha ha.

  • Reply odudubelubelu April 7, 2015 at 4:29 pm

    Finally a means to rant on this issue!!!
    My name is ibiayo but for some reason people feel like they can call me ayo

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